Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Wonder...

Only in the state of solitary have I begun to wonder, of how solemn life has turned out to be. Every step that I take, every move that I commit, would all bring about consequences. And I'm growing scared by the second. Things aren't as clear as they used to be, no, not like before. Maybe once they had all seem so clear, the time when I was able to distinguish the horizon so certainly. It might have been a delusion encouraged by a young mind, but at least it was filled with passion. Now that I've grown older, and now that everything seems to be at stake, that flame of enthusiasm has grown much, much dimmer.

It seems like everyone's counting on me, to always do the right thing. I'm suffocating in between these constraints, rarely being able to make mistakes of my own. I take pride in doing good, but at the same time a part of me has always wondered, the possibility of learning something more valuable with each wrong that I've skipped. Sometimes people praise me for what I'm not, and out of fear I tend to lead them to that idea of the ideal Irfan that they've preordained. Have I made a mistake? Have I missed out on a lot? Did my sacrifices bring some good, to others at least? I wonder...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Goodbye Uniten!

'The Mechanical Properties of Hybrid (Fibre-reinforced) Composites Used In Automobile Body Shell', the title of the thesis that I am about to hand out tomorrow morning. This would be my last work as a Bachelor's Degree student of Uniten. Aaah, the day that I have dreamed about since the series of gruesome final papers started last month. Now that all the work is over and done with, I suddenly feel a bit sentimental about leaving the place. Lolz! It's time I guess, I'm going to be setting out on a new adventure soon. Sure hope it'll be an interesting one as well.

Come July I'll be able to call myself a Master's Degree student of Universiti Malaya. How intimidating does that sound yea? It's going to be either in mechanical engineering, or materials engineering, both have been accepted. Which one do you reckon? Maybe I should put up a poll and let you guys influence this feeble and indecisive mind. Haha. Whatever it is, I guess I'll have to work my butt off to do well. How else would I make it in this tough world we live in.

But for now, and the three months ahead, maybe it's time for me to gather some inspirations. I'm on a quest to engage myself in some fun and beneficial activities. To fill my time with something useful, character building sort of thing. Lolz! I'm open for suggestions, so if you guys want to drag me to some random Chinese language classes, or even Tai Chi or what or not... Let it be now! =)