The Commoner's Love Story: Chapter 1

Grandma dropped me off in front of the barbershop. It was 7.40 p.m. in the evening, so I was definitely early for class. I made a bee line straight to Cikgu Noor's office as I had usually done if I was ever early. Figured a chat or two wouldn't hurt, since she was more like a cool auntie anyways. Mid-way through our conversation a group of girls stormed in, a bunch of juniors scheduled for the class next to us. So they waited in front of the class, seperated only by thin air from Cikgu Noor's office. They were giggling and stealing glances, while I was trying to look all cool. Mayon came in like a minute after, to my relief, since I was blushing uncontrollably, and we were all off to class. It was during English that he mentioned about this girl, a junior from school who happenned to be in the next class, who also happened to be one of them who were giggling away earlier. He said, "that girl's not bad...". I kind of figured out which one he was talking about, but I played Clint Eastwood.

Secretly I started to take notice of this girl. She was kind of pretty, looked somewhat more mature than her 2 years younger age. Every opportunity I got to come early for tuition was an opportunity taken so that I could "unintentionally" bump into her. For awhile it went on like that, until I figured I might as well just say hye to her, through my cousin that was! My cousin, Izzuan, was in the same class as her. He did a fantastic job, even got her phone number for me. So the next thing I know we started texting each other, calling now and then. It felt kind of nice, since I was new to all that. The idea of having someone into you was rather intriguing at the time. Text came after text, and call came after call. But I never really had the nerves to go out with her. It was always "concentrating on my PMR" that saved me from a real date. Didn't get to see her much at school either, since she was in the evening session. I thought a few of "I love you's" from her meant that I've sealed what we had. Boy was I ever more wrong....

I guess I must've really bored her. What kind of guy likes you but doesn't really want to go on a date with you right? Then came that day, a day that could've just easily been any other day, that she suddenly stopped answering my text. I must've thought something really bad had happened, since it got me worried. Full of anxiety, I tried calling her and texting her again and again, only to end up in disappointment. A few days later she texted me, saying that she was going out with another guy. And so my world came crumbling down, I was silenced for the whole week. From then on I tried to convince myself to stop thinking about her, and to only concentrate on my not so distant PMR. I studied hard, just to get her image out of my head. Only a great distraction could've done that. So I guess in a way she had helped me, paved me a path that I couldn't foresee. I did well for my PMR... And that was the best thing I could see came out of the mess.

Puisi Buat Mu

Mungkin satu hari nanti,

Kan ku jumpa kau yang ku cari,

Intan dalam sejuta,

Tetap ku cari sampai jumpa,

Hingga tibanya hari itu,

Kan ku tabahkan hati menunggumu.

Maybe someday,

I will find the one that I've been looking for,

A diamond in a million,

Still I would find a way,

But till that day comes,

I'll wait for you, come what may.

Puisi dedicated to that one girl who'd be able to make my mum proud for bringing a cumbersome son into this world... Haha! =P

Clouds of Questions

There are times when certain questions would cloud my mind. Questions that may have the simplest form of answers attached to them, yet these answers bring about the utmost level of ambiguity. In my journey across this bridge we call life, I hope someday I'll be able to understand better the many "why's" that I've always wondered about.

I believe everything has been planned by God. The sole reason of us being here is to learn why we are here. Why we are who we are, and what role do we play in the chronicle of events that He's lined up for us. "Islam" translates to "surrender". Dad once said that with better understanding of what is taught by the religion, and the purpose of life itself, your surrender to Him would be more complete. I second that...

Weekend Calamity

Such a perfect time to write a new entry, since I have loads to let out! Let me just start by saying, WHAT A WEEKEND! I guess God must be testing my patience for some good reason...

Friday, after college I went back to Ampang to service the car. First problem, gearbox was leaking. It'll burn a hole in my pocket to replace the flywheel oil seal, and at times like this, I don't know when I can afford that. So ok, just let it be for now, I said to myself.

Saturday, everything was fine in the beginning. Then calm turned into panic when my college mate told me that the test machine in UPM that we were supposed to use has been booked indefinitely. Great! Another problem... Now I have to look for some other alternative in such a short span of time.

Sunday, fine. I did most of my work. Went out to grab some dinner at Jusco AU2 Setiawangsa. Car died out on me on the way back. Thought it would just take some minor twitching to get it running again. Turned out it was not to be. Had to find a nearby workshop at 8.30 p.m. Just imagine! Found one, the guy was nice enough to follow me back to where the car was parked. Tried this and that, up until 10 p.m., but unfortunately to no avail. Some sensor which would cost something like RM 350 has to be replaced, and the earliest to get the problem rectified would be tomorrow morning. Ok fine, so I dragged the car to a friend's place a couple of streets away and parked it there. Went home, realized I left something in the car. Drove back there with my mum's car to grab those stuffs and found dents and scratches on the front fender already!

Tomorrow I have a quiz at 9 a.m. and experiments to run at 10 a.m. Then I have to rush back to Ampang right after to sort out the car... One word describes the weekend perfectly. Calamity!

Embrace Yourself

Look at yourself in the mirror, and tell me honestly what do you see... Are you able to see the person that you really are? The true you with no mask to veil yourself, to avoid others from finding out what you're really made of? I fail to understand why certain people refuse to grow up. Why they need to put on that mask to be accepted... Is this so called "front" you're putting on going to make you look better in the eyes of others?

Just please, learn to accept who you are... People would love you better for being you, not some phony figure. We're not kids anymore. Showing off won't make you any cooler. So quit trying so hard to be what you're not. The minute you understand and accept the honour of being "you", you'll be so much at peace. Trust me, I honestly think everybody's perfect just the way they are.

It's really ok to be an average joe. At least I'm embracing the fact that I'm one. We're not all born to be Mister or Miss Perfect. But if you really desire to get there, do it the right way. Thrive for it. The substance that you're made of is the thing that matters. Empty cans make the most noise... But they're not really what people want are they?

Uniten Grad Nite 09

Grad Nite turned out to be a successful event. It was the antidote for my stressful day. Running experiments in the morning, then hitting the books for the test in the evening... What a life! It was fun to see everybody dress to kill. Some faces I couldn't even recognize at the first glance. Aaah, the wonders of makeup... =P And surprisingly the food was quite alright. Either that or I was really starving. Performances were amazing. Estranged and Estrella gave their best, even for such a petty event compared to what they're used to... Everyone seemed to enjoy that part of the night.

Well, it would only be complete if I include some of the evening's pictures ya? So here they are...

and...

yes, that's Juliana Evans!