"Sugar", that was what I used to call you. And I was your "babes". How things have changed since then. I remember the first time I saw you. That day of registration in college. I was so mesmerized that I had to tell my friend D about you straight away. But I have to be honest, I really thought you were malay. Lol! Getting myself introduced to you was a nightmare. We were all exchanging phone numbers, but when it came to you it became awkward. I, became awkward. Lol! Do you remember the first time I texted you, but then I said it was mistakenly sent? I lied...
I was fortunate enough to be given the chance to get to know you, even when I had to go off from that place. When that two weeks ended, I had to face reality and return to earth. But I thanked God that you were still there, still around. Six months I was practically on your tail, head over heels for you, and I never regretted any moment of it. Really, I never felt that way with anyone before. And because of that I acted like a goofball, I did everything against the book. But still you treated me nice, like I really mattered. We were from two different worlds, but I guess love held us together. Friendship grew into something more wonderful, and whatever we ever shared was beautiful. I treasured everything, from coming to Titiwangsa and BSC to just see you, to the valentine's day card u made, which I still have with me.
I guess it was written that one day I was going to be the jerk who left you. The jerk who broke your heart. All along I've told myself that the reason I did that, was because I was devastated, when you told me that you were going to study abroad. And because you made it clear that there was no future for us, seeing that there was this huge barrier, concerning your parents and all. But I was wrong to have hurt you like that. Those were just stupid reasons made by a fool. I wish I could turn back time, to right my every wrong. I know we were not meant to last, but I still wish I did not hurt you the way I did.
A lot of things have changed since then. I'm happy that we've become good friends, and that you've forgotten the past. I could never ask for anything more. You were always the bigger person, I know I don't deserve the friendship that you've offered me after all the terrible things that I've done. I just want you to know that if you ever need anything, I'll be around. I could only wish to be half as great of a friend that you've been to me all this while. And I want you to know, that I'm always very sorry for all my wrongs towards you, for the times I acted like an idiot, and for the times I wasn't the guy you deserved. I hope you have a great future ahead of you, and I hope God will bless that beautiful soul of yours always.
2017: First Quarter of Grief
6 months ago